Living in the moment

Maybe its because I don't have an infant to take care of this deployment, but I have found that I have a different outlook this time around.  I noticed that when people ask me about the previous two deployments, I can't recall that much.  I know looking back in pictures that I took the boys to the beach, the zoo, etc but I don't really "remember" that much about our fun.  That made me sad that I seem to have forgotten some of the best times of them being little.  Back then, I merely tried to survive.  It was hard balancing work and the kids while trying to keep up with laundry and dishes.  I had to get one of those baby enclosures and have Evan watch Camden while I tried to even get a shower.  It was exhausting, but we made it...life kept going.

This time around I'm trying to do more living in the moment.  My boys are very active, and I LOVE that!  I'm enjoying the time I spend with them playing outside, going to the park or just having a movie night.  My goal for this deployment is to keep it that way.  I don't want to merely "survive" this time around.  I want to look back at the pictures this time and smile when I remember all the good times we've had.  Just today, I had to remind myself to live in the moment.  We got back last Sunday from our last camping/jeeping trip.  The next morning I started my first day of work for the year.  Two days after that, Micah left.  Needless to say, the house looks like a tornado hit it.  We now have bags left to be unpacked, camping gear to be sorted and stored in the garage and laundry to be done.

I thought it was going to be a very productive day.  Cam had his soccer game and when we got home, I finally got the lawn mowed.  Then it was off to tackling laundry and cleaning the rest of the house.  Just as I was finishing up dishes and really getting into the cleaning mode, Cam had an "I want daddy" moment and reminded me that I said I would hold him whenever he missed daddy.  So, I left the rest of the house to be cleaned tomorrow.  I held Cam.  Evan asked for some individual time too, so after dinner it is going to be a "Wii" night.  And you know what?  For once I'm actually ok with that.  In the past I would tell myself its ok if things didn't get done but deep down I would feel horrible.  This deployment, I'm living in the moment.  So if we need to hang out and the camping gear doesn't get unpacked, so be it.  I love my boys and don't want to forget another minute of them growing up.

 

Comments

[Sonia Fabbri]

Very moving . . . you definitely have your priorities straight! You are going to need your time as well, Beth. Thus, I am going to be talking to our church youth about taking turns babysitting on Thursday nights so you can play volleyball!

Love ya,
Sonia

[Beth]

Thought about, yes...actually accomplishing is another thing. I'm not skilled at scrapbooking. I started one when Evan was born. It has his first week pics in it and that's all! Maybe I'll get motivated to do something this time???

[Donna Lambert]

Beth..have you thought about maybe doing a scrapbook of your time with the boys during Micah's deployment? That way, you guys can share it with Micah when he comes home.